Didn't we almost have it all?

My parents have been divorced my whole life-- well not my WHOLE life, but it sure seems like it. And as I approach the age of "pairing up" (colloquially known as Wedding Season)I can't help but wonder if I will ultimately be divorced and therefore questioning the whole pairing up process in general.

Is it worth it to fall so deeply in love with someone; to give so much of yourself and then to ultimately lose it all...in an instant? I've been in love, it is the best drug, the best makeup and the best weight maintenance system-- your whole body hums with the knowledge that you are someone's cherished "significant other" (even if you aren't cherished completely--which is a WHOLE other blog post) and you simply can't help but shine. And yet when you lose this, and sometimes you have to lose it because of outside factors, but most of the time you lose it because it (the relationship) wasn't right for YOU; when you lose this, you are lost amid a sea of hand-holders, paired people...people you don't seem to fit in with anymore.

I have been unpaired for quite some time, and I love the single life, but boy let me tell you...I miss the privilege of being part of something; taking care of someone...and I want someone to take care of me! It's nice to have someone cook for you (not that my ex ever did this, but in theory it sounds nice).

So basically I think what I'm trying to say is where is my knight in shining armor; where is the man that will make all the doubt, worry and fear of pain go away? Where is the man that will make me realize love does work, and isn't just a part of sappy love ballads by the diva Houston (and I mean diva is a good way)? Where is my Big? Where's my lobster? Am I destined to be single forever? I certainly hope not, because that's a waste of a good cook ;)

Perhaps it's like Carrie says in the movie- vow to love me, each and every day. That is all I want. A partner, a lover, a man to make me better, and man that makes me blissfully happy- and he has to be out there...right?